A Slayers Vacation!
by Nova-chan
Summary: It's time for Xelloss' revenge on the beachgoers!


A Slayers Vacation!  
  
Author: Nova-chan  
  
E-mail: IlovemenoV@aol.com  
  
Series: Slayers  
  
Rating: G  
  
Summary: Since I just had the worst vacation in my life, I decided that it was payback time! So, the beach is gonna get it, big time, as I unleash a certain Mazoku on the unsuspecting vacationers! Muahaha!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Xelloss Metallium found himself in a tropical paradise, complete with a beach, a pool, and room service. Although he would have normally enjoyed himself, feeding off of Lina's negative energy towards being subjected to paying triple everything's normal price, he felt disgusted at everything around him: people who most certainly did not belong in bathing suits; screaming children; humans that he didn't even care to know bothering him; and everyone having a great time and making lots of icky positive-happy energy.  
  
So, what did Xelloss do? He came up with a scheme.  
  
Part 1: Get Lina and the others busy somewhere else.  
  
Part 2: Cause mass destruction to the beach and the tourists! ^______^  
  
"Whaddya MEAN pina coladas are twenty bucks each???" Lina demanded of the person running the snack bar.  
  
"W-well." he stammered, "you see, ma'am, that's the price the manager told me to charge. Th-there's really nothing I can do."  
  
Lina released the poor guy from her death grip. "Oh-kay. I guess I'll let you off easy.THIS TIME!!!" she threatened back at him, as he cowered below the counter.  
  
Lina went back to her lounge chair in between the snoring Gourry and the plotting Xelloss.  
  
She saw the expression on the mysterious priest's face.  
  
"All right," she demanded, "what are you up to, Xelloss?"  
  
He looked up at her in fake innocence. "Me? Why I'm simply enjoying this vacation, Lina-chan!" he said.  
  
"Sure," she replied, suspiciously.  
  
Suddenly, Gourry sat up. "Where am I? Who am I? Hi Lina!"  
  
The sorceress stared at him. "Gourry?" she wondered. "What planet are you from?"  
  
"Gee.this one, I think.at least that's what people tell me." Gourry scratched his head. "But, you see, I've always wondered if I might be from another planet because sometimes I can feel my skin getting all green and once I felt antennae, and another time I could've sworn that I heard this voice in my head telling me to phone home. So, what do you think, Zelgadis?" He turned to the chimera, who was lying beside him in a similar lounge chair.  
  
"About what, Gourry?" was the reply.  
  
"About me!"  
  
"What about you?  
  
"Well.do you think I'm an alien?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Really??"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know!! Leave me alone!!!" Zelgadis exclaimed.  
  
"Oh-kay." Gourry said, thoughtfully. "Hey Xelloss! Do you think I'm an alien?"  
  
Lina sighed. "Look at what I've started."  
  
Xelloss looked over at Gourry. "Of course, Gourry. You're an alien."  
  
The swordsman's eyes grew.  
  
"Really????????????????????????????????"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"YAY!!" Gourry jumped out of his chair and ran over to a woman who was about to dip her toe into the pool. "Hey lady!!!!" he screamed.  
  
Then, she screamed and fell in the pool, head-first. Once she surfaced, she yelled, "Hey, bakayaro! Are you trying to give me a heart attack??"  
  
"Guess what!" the blonde shouted, unmoved by the previous happening.  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
"I'm an alien!!"  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Yeah!" Gourry shrieked, waiting for a reaction.  
  
"Well, come'ere," the woman beckoned with her finger.  
  
He leaned forward, listening for whatever she might say.  
  
In the blink of an eye, she grabbed him around the wrist and dunked him in the pool. Before he resurfaced, she scoffed, saying, "Maybe that'll teach you, jerk."  
  
When Gourry came up for air, he looked around for the woman, who had already left and gone back into her room.  
  
"I guess she doesn't like aliens," he said, shrugging.  
  
Meanwhile, Zelgadis was going through a slight coffee withdrawal.  
  
Abruptly, he looked over at Lina and said, "You know, it's been about a week since I've had some."  
  
Lina nodded, uninterested.  
  
"I'm trying to quit," the chimera continued, nervously. "I used to need.oh, three or four cases a day, but now! Now, I'm down to none! Pretty good, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, whatever," the red-haired girl answered.  
  
"But.sometimes it gets hard," he went on. "Like now, I'd do anything for a fix of rich, black coffee. Just the word, coffee, makes me want it. Just say it! Say coffee!"  
  
"No. Zel? You've got a problem," Lina told him, sitting up and shifting so she could like at him. "I think they have patches for it now. I know they have gum. You should get some and get off your addiction."  
  
"You're right," he responded, nodding. "I should try to help myself out. I can't just be all crazy and messed up all the time! I'm gonna buy some gum and some patches just as soon as our vacation is over!" Zelgadis jabbed a fist into the air.  
  
"That's the spirit, Zel!" Lina exclaimed.  
  
"Hey Lina! I'm really hungry!" Gourry whined, coming onto the scene.  
  
"Well, what do you want me to do about it, Gourry?" she inquired.  
  
"Um.feed me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Buy me some food?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Steal me some food?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Cook me some-"  
  
Xelloss burst out laughing. "Ha! Don't do that! It's like signing your death warrant!"  
  
Lina bopped him on the head. "Shut up, bakayaro."  
  
He snickered. "Oh-kay. Well, you know, there's an all-you-can-eat buffet across the street from the hotel."  
  
"REALLY??" both Gourry and Lina cried.  
  
"Yes. They're having a special, too. It's all-you-can-eat for a dollar," Xelloss told them.  
  
Lina looked at him, disgusted. "That's robbery!"  
  
"But, it's two for the price of one!" the mazoku exclaimed, hoping that this would get her.  
  
"So.we can both eat everything we want for a dollar?" the sorceress asked, timidly.  
  
"Yes!!"  
  
"That's ROBBERY!!!" she shrieked. "That restaurant should be shut down!"  
  
Xelloss sighed. It looked like his plan wouldn't work after all.  
  
"But Lina!" Gourry complained. "I'm so hungry!!"  
  
"Oh, all right," she complied. "I am too. Let's go change out of our swimsuits."  
  
"Yay!" the swordsman burst out, running into his hotel room that he shared with Zelgadis.  
  
Lina raced into her own room.  
  
Now, Xelloss thought to himself, how to get rid of the chimera?  
  
Suddenly, it hit him. "Oh, Zelgadis?"  
  
"What is it?" he replied, gruffly, turning away from the monster.  
  
"There's a Starbucks right next door to the buffet."  
  
Faster than Gourry or even Lina, Zelgadis took over, not even bothering to change first, for the coffee shop.  
  
"I am good."  
  
  
  
  
  
Moments later, there was a loud boom and a quake, sending many of the tourists by the pool reeling out of their chairs.  
  
"What was that?" someone cried, clinging to their child.  
  
"It was me!" a voice announced, high above their heads. The crowd looked up to see Xelloss, hovering in swim trunks with red hearts all over them. "And now, I'm going to destroy all of you-and your pretty beach too!!"  
  
"." The people just gaped at him.  
  
"Um." The priest looked around. "This is the part where you run."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" the group of tourists screamed, running in circles. A few of them bumped into each other every now and then.  
  
"Hahaha!" Xelloss laughed. "Nothing will save you now!" He readied a big, purple blast.  
  
"Hey Xelloss!" someone yelled from below. The mazoku diminished his blast and looked around for whomever had been shouting for him.  
  
He saw Gourry, who was waving his arm back and forth.  
  
"Xelloss! Guess what!!" the blond yelled.  
  
"I don't care!" was the response.  
  
"I'm the alien, so I'm supposed to be destroying the world, not you! Silly rabbit! Destruction's for aliens!"  
  
Xelloss stared at Gourry, who was grinning wildly. Eventually, he floated back down to the ground, still staring at him.  
  
"Gourry?"  
  
"Yes, Xelloss?"  
  
"While you distracted me, all the people I wanted to destroy ran away."  
  
"They did?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you going to hurt me?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Oh-kay. LINA! HELP!!" he exclaimed, running away.  
  
Xelloss sat back down in his lounge chair and crossed his arms. "Gourry ruins all my plans!"  
  
Gourry poked his head around the corner. "Aw, don't worry, Xel! I'll make sure not to ruin the next one!"  
  
"Darkness of the four worlds-"  
  
"Gotta go!!"  
  
-Ah, NoV is so happy for making another fic! 


End file.
